10 Questions

Sometimes, it is painful to remember what kind of person I used to be. As far as my husband and a few close friends can see, God has really changed me for the better. I realized that our lives are coloured through and through by books, music and movies, that it is often difficult to disentangle the things that we have truly learned from our own experiences. I often reflect about my past and invariably pray that my future will turn out to be what God has designed, for the Bible says that we are his 'workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works which God has prepared beforehand'. (Ephesians 2:10)

I think it is the perfect time to ask myself a few questions before the year 2014 comes to an end. All answers are based on my personal encounters. “Nothing ever becomes real 'til it is experienced," as John Keats would say.

1. What are your biggest regrets?

Not learning to play any musical instrument, not getting into the right sport at an early age, and...hanging out with the wrong people. Plus, learning to smoke and drink!

2. What were you doing exactly ten years ago?

I was stupid and in love with the wrong person. I got myself into such a big mess and had to suffer for it.

3. If you had a sister, what advice would you give her?

First of all, seek God with all your heart. Secondly, do not trust men right away, especially the good-looking ones.

4. Did you study hard and get good grades in college?

I never studied hard if you are talking about staying up late to memorize a bunch of lessons. However, I did spend a lot of time playing billiards and drinking in college. And yes, I still got good grades even if grades are not the true measure of a person's intelligence.

5. What were your weaknesses?

Again, I was young and stupid. I think it resulted from low self-esteem which was nobody's fault except that I wasn't raised a certain way. I was not very popular in elementary school and was a victim of mild bullying. I felt undesirable in high school because I didn't have suitors when girls my age had boyfriends at the time. I wanted so badly to belong, to be part of the 'in crowd'. I couldn't tell if a guy was sincere or if he just wanted to play games.

6. What were your strengths?

I was logical and analytical despite having low self-esteem and that prevented me from totally destroying myself. 

7. Are you happy with your life right now?

I have peace and joy because I have found my saviour Jesus Christ. I am grateful that God has redeemed my life from the pit. By the standards of this world, I am a failure - no property of my own, no savings in the bank, no title or a flourishing career. But you know what? I am happy and contented and secured and thankful and hopeful as I continue to stand in awe of God.

8. What are you reading right now?

The Art of Seduction by Robert Greene (because I don't own The 48 Laws of Power) and Mere Christianity by C.S. Lewis which I have been reading over and over again.

9. What are your current goals?

I want to lose weight, finish reading the Bible, pray and meditate at exactly 5:00 am DAILY for the rest of my life.

10. If you could turn back time, how would you live your life?

I would finish my master's degree, be more frugal and save some money. I first went to COG-Dasma in 2001 and I wish I had never stopped listening to the word of God ever since. There are so many things I could have done better, but it's time to leave them all behind now.

“It is better to forget about yourself altogether.” 

― C.S. Lewis, Mere Christianity